And don't let that computer hit you in the ass on your way out!
The Dodgers have completed one of the most awesome double firings in their storied existence today. General Manager Paul "dispossesed" Depodesta was sent packing, along with his flow charts, out of his Chavez Ravine office and onto Sunset Blvd., looking for the 2 Bus south to the Greyhound station and out of this city and it's hair forever. This coming on the heels of the relocation of hillbilly Jim Tracy back to the coal mining vistas of Pennsylvania where he can single handedly ruin "We are Family" for the rest of their lives. Owner Frank McCourt (and his one-eyed concubine) have finally come to their proverbial senses after a five hour dinner with legends Tommy Lasorda and Bulldog Oral Hersheisher. No doubt the absurdity of the last two years had finally caused more agida than McCourt cares for. This also puts the Kabosh on any notions of the hideous names being bandied about for possible managerial money-ball manure. Terry Collins, Ron Wotus, Terry Lovullo, Jerry Royster and Marvin Hackleberry can now go back to whatever the hell they were doing before and not get any closer to that uniform than a noodling dream in their noggins. Hope has been partially restored and a clean slate has been had. The options are numerous:
Theo Epstein of the Red Sox, far apart in contract talks with Boston, may very well have been the AL East source we read about last week getting these rumours started. Other names I'm hearing are John Hart (Texas, Cleveland), Pat Gillick (Seattle) and possibly Bulldog himself to GM. Bobby Valentine is my dream for manager (Pinella wouldn't be so badk either) as he has been the true heir apparent after Lasorda and is a natural for this position. The $30 million available can now be expected to be used and we can imagine at least a $100 Mil. payroll, an absolute must for this market.
How bout Todd Helton at first, getting Hideki Matsui for left, getting Sheffield back. Bengie Molina is a free agent and would be a perfect fit. Resign Weaver, or go after Burnett or Zito. It's all possible now. Now that the granny and spock the screen writer are gone. Thank you Dodger Gods. Thank you for not forgetting about us.
Hallelujah and Happy Hannukah.