Tuesday, February 06, 2007

They didn't teach us about this in school.

I have never hesitated to write about my life on this blog. Perhaps one time only have I questioned the prudence of what I have said publicly in this forum, mostly regarding my feelings about work since my ego fears it needs a job. But what I am about to write here, while acceptable and welcome by me, may irreversibly change the relationships I have with certain people in my life. I recognize this fact but, at least for the moment, I am certainly not in charge of my life.

As many of you know, one week ago last Tuesday I was seated in the library at Hollywood High School when I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love and light. The progenitor of this experience was very clear to identify himself as Sathya Sai Baba, the Indian Avathar and Yogi. Since that time I have written quite extensively about phenomena which I have been experiencing and continue to experience dramatically.

Last Saturday evening I attended an evening ceremony at the Sai Baba Temple of Hollywood, an inauspicious dwelling located off Wilcox. The attendees were mostly of Indian extraction and, surprisingly to me, of Hispanic origin. There were two whites, myself and a young musician named Will. The Bhajans, or songs of devotion, were being led in Spanish, English and Hindi by a Latin man playing Mrdangam (a South Indian drum), and the owner of the home, a diminutive rather pixiesh man named Wilson. Surrounding us were huge photographs of Sai Baba on the walls. One photograph in particular was the central altar photograph which was the focus of the devotions and prayers. At one point the group got up and held aloft a flame in front of the photo illuminating it. Later on in the evening, I stopped and looked at the photograph more closely for several minutes. Baba's eyes were strange. There was something intensely strange about his eyes, and the photo in general. I wasn't quite sure what it was. At that moment, a very nice older Indian woman came up to me and said "it's like he's looking directly at you. He's looking directly into your soul and heart". The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

Before I left, Wilson gave me a beautiful photo of Sai Baba, poster sized, as well as two books to read and a wallet sized photo. I went home and immediately put the photo up on my wall, brought out candles and fruit and his books, and made a modest shrine/altar. It felt quite nice and very relaxed.

This is where things begin to get complicated. Last night I sat in front of the photograph, both with the candles lit and without but with electric lighting. The photo is Sai Baba from the waist up looking out in his orange robe, both hands held aloft towards the observer. I sat in front of the photo and felt a deep calm come over me. I also felt a hypnotic pull from the photo, something deeper than the external image it shows.

What happened next has changed my entire universe.

Within five minutes of focusing on the photo, both of his hands began to move. First the left hand, swaying minutely, then the right hand. Next his fingers began to wiggle, imperceptibly then very obviously. The hem of his garment near the right side of his hip began to flow. His left eyebrow raised. His eyes narrowed and his head moved briefly from side to side. His lips moved twice but did not appear to be saying anything specific. The eyeballs now moved like those mystery films where a person is standing behind the painting. Finally, an emanation of circular blue light emanated from his heart like a firework. It lasted a second and then faded. Writing these words now makes my heart beat faster and my mind spinning with total incredulity. At the time it was happening, I never felt afraid. On the contrary, I felt delighted, amazed. I laughed myself silly, giddy. What is this trickery? Did he get together with an animation company to Disney-fy the photo, like in the Haunted Mansion? Is the candlelight coupled with my twelve hour day causing me to space out here? What the motherfuck is going on people?

I meditated this morning in front of the photo. The movements were much more minute, but still prevalent. I left the house and went to breakfast. I am still processing the implications of this. Whether this is my own mind manifesting a kind of wishful hallucination at the psychic level, or actually Baba himself, I have yet to come to terms with. But obviously many many people, thousands to be exact, have experienced an alteration in their consciousness from this man. I am not alone in my being touched by a seemingly irrational, impossible alteration of time and space. There is absolutely no question in my mind that Baba himself is doing this. And I am directly part of this universal unveiling. The Avathar brings not only love, but a direct shattering of the conventional ideas of reality. The ego must be shattered to its core for the heart to shine through. I hope to God I am ready for this.

Om Shanti Om. Namaste. May all beings dwell in peace. May love guide our planet. May the heart shine through all illusions. Welcome Sathya Sai Baba into my heart.


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Blogger Jerry'O said...

I am at once impressed, bemused, amused. I am impressed at your honesty, the courage to openly share these events and the almost scientific cataloging of your experiences.

I am bemused, as I always am when confronted with such stories and experiences, at the comparison of this recent enchantment to our commonly accepted consensus take on reality...

And I am amused at the remarkable similarity between Sai Baba’s hair and the afro I once sported in the 70’s in high school (and even 80’s I’m afraid to admit).

But I don’t want to really overindulge in reminiscences on Bernie’s Room 222 jewfro.

Fro or no, Mr. Baba seems a happy and ecstatic esthetician.

This thing which has happened to you... Starting with the dream-- This is the common way, apparently, for perspective students of spiritual adepts to see their future teachers. I just finished a book, as a matter of fact, where this happens in the last fifth of the book to the author. It was a complete surprise when the book turned that direction. The author was a founder of (what was once the prototype of new age Christian churches), in La Jolla. Even though this tome was decidedly new agey, it was still jarring when the book took this turn into mountain climbing, dream contact with gurus and eastern mysticism.

My meditations are often interesting. I am often transported to places and experiences I feel are real... but I’ve never really had the physical change thing happen— where a thing before me changes before my eyes. Others I know, like you, have. In retrospect, I’ve surmised that, ironically, the intensity of the high strangeness seems proportional to a person’s skepticism... In other words, my (previously) more skeptical friends seem to have had the strangest experiences... Like someone, somewhere, knows they need to be hit over the noggin a little bit harder than some, in order to break open the head and let it in.

And my (one of two actually) major UFO/Visitor experience... Why-oh-why couldn’t I have had a normal sighting, you know, of a saucer or some other ship... No, it doesn’t work like that. I get something totally out of context. Entirely ineffable... No ship... no grays... I get a friggin’ flying giant jellyfish... A giant fifty foot ameba... I’m standing right under it... coulda’ hit it with a rock it was flying so slow, and so low... It was enough for me to realize though, that all bets are off and that any attempts to put any of this into a box are simply, well... We Don’t Have Those Tools Yet..!

And yes, it does make me more gullible. I am more apt to believe an outlandish tale than many... but not because I blindly believe; but because I cannot, for my own personal experience, blindly disbelieve.

And in my heart-of-hearts I truly believe Sai Baba is fur-real. Whoops, again with the hair— I’m sorry, I’m killing me over here..! Stoppit, really, stoppit!..Now... Wheew... Sheesh... (breath) Okay...

Take Care.

12:02 AM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

My dear brother in multi-dimensionality, I am so profoundly relieved to hear from you. The fellowship of reality shifting in my life feels very narrow. I'm sure it will reveal itself as larger than I think. But at the present moment, I find myself out in the wildnerness with possibly one or two people really getting this deal. Of course you come calling at the appointed hour no doubt aware that my two days in the hospital were caused by my complete rational breakdown after the original bliss. The UFO experience (Angel? Mandala? Photon Torpedo?) that I saw over Simi Valley in '78 with my earthbound jewish friend Steve Glick who, after witnessing the event, said in his transplanted Boston accent "We din't fukin see dat"!, is not a proper comparison to the Baba leap. It's far more quantum. The only thing I can really compare it to is the Richard Chubb, David Clarke and Eileen Mushroom trip of 1980 in Venice Beach where I was vacuumed into the all-possibilities-sound and funhouse ego crushing happy play day. The avatar took the mask of himself that day and said "hi there, welcome to my world, muhfuguh"!

Oh boy, Neo has got nothing on this and the Nebachunezer can't run me away from this fast enough. Nor do I really want to run away. It's just that I was not at all prepared for the 24 hour terror episode in which I had to be held down while being administered Atavan intravenously while trying to explain to a priest from Glendale that God is love is Sai Baba who is on my wall and is one of those guys in the Haunted Mansion who comes out of the painting shooting the gun at the other guy, except he's alot friendlier and more gracious and likes candy and flower and incense and disappears in the photo and then comes back with my face morphing into his with my glasses on. The nice Philipino nurse smiled at me in a rather frightened way and quickly left the room letting the IV does its job. I fell into a 12 hour sleep.

I awoke and was discharged. As I left, with two large cotton balls over the backs of my hands where the IV's were (the stigmatta?). I got in my car and asked Baba where I'm supposed to go now. He directed me to a small alechemical shop in Los Feliz called "The White Lotus". It was the exact place I was supposed to go. A lovely wiccan type bombshell sweetheart at the counter immediately took me into the back and offered me tea. She told me that her teacher had been with Sai Baba and that the owner of the store, who was in a session at the moment, would like to speak with me.

The owner, John, came out and I immediately felt he understood. My first question was the only question asked by a rational man.."why? Why is this happening?". John, who used to be a nuclear scientist before he walked away from it all to open this modest shop, smiled and said "because you invited it into your life". Bam! There it is. No hiding. I jumped into the rabbit hole eyes wide open and without a bungee cord.

And so, I have allowed Baba to do his Baba thing. It gets a little ridiculous when I'm watching TV and he is waving to me like an idiot out of the photograph. His big time afro making it very difficult to not thing of Huggybear. But, believe it or not, I think that's the point. There is a cosmic humor to this stuff that we better find funny or the funny farm will find us.

Liane, my dear friend and algae, has been unbelievably supportive and downright stoked about this stuff. She also claims that I have a new super light coming out of my face, courtesy of Baba or Everready. I'm just going along with the program. Made a shrine, flowers, candies, incenses, candles.

One devotee says that Baba has been known to come into people's lives as cats. How interesting that Inky dies and all heaven breaks loose.

Stay tuned my friend. I have just taken the big E-ticket to the next floor.

With much much love. Call me my brother. You can use the phone too if you feel like it. I'll hear you either way.

11:18 AM  

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