Sunday, June 01, 2008

70 degrees and sunny.

I would rather not focus on the soft underbelly of Jonathan Broxton for a moment, and instead focus on a far more ominous and disconcerting perception. I use the word perception because memory is far more sustaining than numbers.

For as long as I can actually recall since 2000, the Los Angeles Dodgers have been a roughly .500 team that, on more occasions than not, have simply underachieved. The method of their mediocrity changes from season to season, but it is simply ubiquitous.

As I have said more than once, you could take every player from the world championship team of the prior year, trade them all to the Dodgers and they will end up being a .500 team, then go 0 and out in the post.

It doesn't matter who the owner is, what the GM does, who is managing and coaching, and of course who is ultimately playing on the field. .500 is the name of the game, baby. Remember Al Davis: "Just Win Baby!". The Dodgers motto is "Five Hundred Baby!". Or "we aren't as good as we think we are".

It boggles the mind, this extraordinary consistency in hitting the middling middle. It is what I like to call the thermostat of mediocrity. It regulates the Dodgers and if they get to far ahead of that location, then the team will compensate in any way they can to return to this safe and secure silly little place. Losing is really not what the Dodgers do. They win roughly half of their games, and lose the other half. They neither win NOR lose.

They IDLE.

There is some sense to this. Winning disturbs the "Fan Experience" (as I have mentioned time and again). It requires people to actually follow the game, hence not being automatized into consumerism. I find it rather hilarious that the rest of the baseball country wonders why the Dodger fans rarely vote for players in the All Star Game, unless prompted to by a major campaign from the front office. Get with it folks. The game of baseball is totally secondary to the Dodger organization. It is irrelevant whether they win or lose. What matters most of all is the perception of stability and the coffers swelling to gargantuan proportions so that Frank and Jamie can enjoy another Southern California hacienda.

Wake up LA.


Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

LA will wake up after the NBA Finals. They are going to say, "What happened to the Dodgers? I thought they had Joe Torre."

And how about those Lakers? Can we beat the Celtics again? I hope so. They make me nervous. It is the Celtics. They some how have the Lakers number. I know we won the last two series, but that's a far cry from the eight the Celtics have won against us.

It's the Lakers baby. Will they break our hearts or give us another championship? I guess we'll find out in two weeks.

6:50 PM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

Tony's points are all well founded if you push aside the hysteria. What Forkush is saying is true even if the Dodgers were playing .600 ball right now. As far as the Lakers, I really hope they win the first game to remove any doubt (not to mention seizing home court) Then if they lose a game after that, or even two, they're still in business. The Lakers could rumble big time on the Celtics if one guy, say Gasol, is able to control Garnett. But Gasol might not be physical enough so maybe Odom. If one guy can control Kevin Garnett then the Lakers could conceivably kick Boston's ass. Tony has gone Scientology and moved over to Easter Conference-type ball so maybe he's got a contrary opinion.

7:25 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Yeah, let's talk Laker basketball. What do you think the chances the Lakers have of beating Boston?

If Odom can guard Garnett and Gasol guard Perkins, this might work. I don't think anyone can guard Garnett, so you have to limit how often he gets open.

Put Sasha on Allen and move Kobe to small forward and guard Pierce. Pierce can burn us and I think Kobe is the only one that can handle him.

This may seem crazy, but Tex Winter is seriously thinking of going with this lineup. It's crazy enough to work.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

I would put Coop on Cousey, then double team Bird with West and Hairiston. You go back door with Green, cause he goes back door if you know what I mean, and then zone out Cowans. If you post up the Indian then you get a real turn around from the sideline and make coach KC work for it. Riley isn't up to it, I think, so you go out and get Rambo back or Van Bredakoff.
If Wilt is finished with his 20,000 then you bring in DJ off the bench and finish off with Miken.
That should give the Lakers are hand up and the banners should be flying high in Inglewood again.
Celtics in six.

3:15 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I agree. But, fire Van Bredakoff. He'll still bench Wilt and still lose to the Celtics. What a twit.

The key is to bring Magic and Jerry back. No, how about Mikan. He has never face the Celtics. Mikan versus Russell. How cool.

What am I saying. I just have Laker fever. I hope the Dodgers can get their shit together so we can be talking about them this year.

It's a long baseball season, so my pizano, keep your fingers crossed.

Also keep your fingers crossed for our Wrangelers. They are in the Kelly Cup, which is the minor league hockey answer to the Lord Stanley's Cup.

10:51 PM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

The other way the Lakers could win is if Allen disappears like he did earlier in the playoffs. That's not likely to happen, though, as he's got his stroke back. If the Lakers win the first game, I say Lakers in 5.

11:56 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I agree Jamie. By the way, your Cincinnati team is beating my Las Vegas team 3 games to 2. It's do or die for Las Vegas.

10:22 AM  
Blogger JamieB. said...


Sorry to divert from Forkush World but what team and sport has Cincinnati leading 3 to 2?

11:57 PM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

No matter how you spin it, the Dodgers just lost two out of three to the savagely pathetic Colorado Rockies, who had lost 9 games in a row and the last 13 consecutive road games. The Dodgers offense hit new lows for faggotville and suck pussy fuck. This team is an embarassment and a disgrace to the good gangbanging fans of LA.

Beyond that, Hilary Clinton just single handedly destroyed the state of Israel with her departure from the primary. What she should have done was declare a new party, the Hilary Party, and taken her 18 Million friends with her.

I believe that all women should hold out for at least two years from their brutal abusive boyfriends. Or even more, hold out until a woman is president. No sex please, were British.

Everything I touch turns to floofy.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I can spin it another way. The Diamondbacks are losing. This was a chance for the Dodgers to catch up, but on the flipside, they could have been a lot farther behind.

They need to get it together. I'm tired of defending them.

10:18 PM  

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