Why I oughta..!
"You can't allow the luxury of a negative thought".
-Joe Torre, on K Bros radio feature.
"OH MY GOD, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!!
-Dodger Tony from his dishevelled apartment.
That's why Joe is Joe and I have large empty patches of skull from the chunks of hair I pulled out Larry Fine style this past weekend.
As the ninth inning started, was I worried (what me worry?) that the Dodgers might upchuck another one, with the team more than comfortably ahead. Are you crazy? I may be dumb but I'm not that....wait a minute, Berroa didn't get Victorino? Hold on a minute, Utley's ball lands in front of Manny. It can't be, there's no way that...HEY ABBOTT!!!!!!
As Ryan Howard came up to bat, I found myself beginning to laugh. My laughter then became a chortle, then my chortle became hysteria. I was maniacally ripping shreds of hair from my pate, laughing and shredding chunks of Brill Cream and Score from what remnants of toupee I have left after the last week. Is the universe playing Lucy with the football on my head again?
Luckily, Broxy got the out and the Dodgers held on for dear life in an absolutely terrible and atrocious win, one of the worst wins I have seen in recent memory. But one I will take. Do you hear that Adam Dunn? I'm not scared of you and your 900 foot homeruns and 250 K's.
We got Nomah coming back and that means no easy outs anywhere up and down the lineup.
Jeff Kent scares me. Gulp!
posted by Tony Forkush at 1:04 AM
8 Comments:
Dude, I thought you were taking a couple of weeks off from the Dodgers, only doing box scores. And since when do you have a toupee? Jeez.
Can we divert our attention from Dodger inability to close out wins for second and direct to something more important. Do you know that the 51's have a shortstop by the name of Chin Lung Hu? This can cause problems if he ever makes to the Dodgers.
What is worse is that if they ever move him to first, we will have serious problems. Can you image: Now playing first for the Dodgers is Hu. "Yeah, but I want to know who is the Dodger first baseman?"
"That's right. . . Hu's on first--" Boy, this can get ugly.
I tried to take time off but I'm just an addict, all right? There, I said it, I am a dodger addict?
But seriously, it seems that they are coming together. Incredible win last night in one of the best games of the year. My toupee is tweety and tuchus.
Michael,
Hu has already come up and now they have Ozuna and as Scully says "Ozuna rather than later".
Yuk yuk.
Oops, I coughed and Nomar went back on the DL.
Yeah, I like Scully. He can make a bad pun sound good. Hell, he can make shit sound like chocolate.
I know Pascoe was making a joke but I remember that Hu dude. Even when the Dodgers were pounding the shit out of my team earlier this year, that Hu guy looked like he was going to the plate with a whiffle ball bat. I haven't seen, in years, a more feckless, inept hitter than that Hu dude (at least in the majors.) I say that not because I can't stand the Dodgers, and I'm sure he's great with the glove, but it's just funny Pascoe brought him up. I'm sure his momma loves him but that guy is absolutely wretched.
I've been kind of out of it. Is the Dodgers tied for first place?
I love our athletes but I hate China and the facade of it all. Fuck the Olympics.
Yeah, does it seem like they are favoring the host nation a little bit too much? I hate the government of China but like their people but it seems that something is rotten in Beijing.
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