Hi Angelica. Well, here we are. It is April 20, 2007. 4/20/07. That may seem rather benign to some people, but to me it has a significance. I will try and explain this as best as I can.
If you recall when I met you, after I left the stacks and went on my way, I returned with a copy of Carl Jung's book "Synchronicity: an acausal connecting principal". I briefly showed it to you as a kind of irony after our meeting, which I do consider a synchronicity or "meaningful coincidence". My reason for re-reading the book had to do with the life-long repetition of a number that continues to appear in unexpected ways. That number is 420.
The number has been a constant in my life, and the life of my late mother and grandmother. I was born at 4:20am on March 7, 1961. My grandmother died at 4:20pm about seven years ago. The number has appeared over and over again on clocks, license plates, marijuana cults or temples (Temple 420-pseudonym for Ganja) and always with a consistency. In other words, I will be doing fairly routine tasks and suddenly it will be 4:20pm. I realize that I haven't been aware of the clock at all and just happen to be passing it at...4:20. Or I will be driving and the CD will end at...420.
On a more sinister and creepy note, today is Hitler's birthday. And today is also the anniversary of the Columbine massacre that happened in Littleton, Colorado several years ago, grotesquely inspiring the recent situation at Virginia Tech no doubt.
So, this peculiar recurrence has baffled and intrigued me for years and years. In the Muslim tradition, they have a take on it that is extraordinarily cryptic and essentially evil. If you are under the influence of the number 420 you are in bad mojo indeed.
Once, when I was having dinner at a friends house, I broached the subject to them. I gave them the whole spiel and then laughingly suggested that maybe I was Hitler, the reincarnated Hitler, and that 420 is the hellish symbol of my eternal damnation. We all laughed, except his 13 month old daughter who was in her highchair. She was still non-verbal at the time but she looked up at me and shook her head and gasped the words "uh-huh", not "uh-uh" as in "no", but "uh-huh" as in "yes, you were that jackal and yes you are damned for eternity". At least that's how I perceived it in my, at that time, rather drug addled brain.
Paranoia, unfortunately, is a long term side effect of chronic drug and alcohol use, which I did for fifteen years. I am coming up on two years sober, which is not really that long of a time but IS as well, if you get my meaning. I know that during that period years ago I was under the influence of a very destructive and dark addiction. I will always have it, but I treat it on a daily basis and, gratefully, I have been willing to beat this thing, with the help of a higher power.
But the 420 number persists. Today, when I see it, I view it from a rather different perspective. I see it as heaven sending me a sign of the well-being of my life, of a universe that is paying attention and constantly sending me guidance. That, in fact, the number is being expressed through the souls of my deceased grandmother and mother and, more recently, my beloved cat Inky whom I shall always carry in my heart, who is with me always and has passed into the realm of the now, into my heart.
And so, on this rainy day, as I get ready to go into class before the weekend, I send you these tidings and blessings. You now have my birth date and time. I will go back and listen to the original astrology reading from lo those many moons ago. I hope to get your book in a day or two as it is in transit to my library in Los Feliz. Goddess Signs by Angelica Danton.
May you find your weekend pleasing and happy.