Monday, April 14, 2008

And so do we.



Time to get out your urine stick and twizzle it to the sky. Looks like its going to be another Dodger vomit fest this year.

The team is off to a putrid start led by the shameful hitting of $18 Million dollar Tubbo Andruw Jones and his smirky brand of the Canabis munchies. This fucking guy is so fat he makes me look fucking fat. Wait, I mean...this fucking guy is so fat he makes me look like I'm a fat ass. Or something like that.

The amount of money that Dodger GM, the toup'ed tiny el Wapo Ned Colletti, has spent on broken down and fucked up fuck ups like Jason Schmidt, Juan Pierre (I like 'em though, I do) and especially fat and fucked up fuck up Jones, defies description.

But the McCourts are the robber barons of the moment. This nightmare will not end until they pack and leave town. And that won't happen anytime soon.

All of this is karma for the greed of this ownership. The horror of no spring training. The moral of the story is: don't go to fucking China.

What an embarrasment to our fair city. What a terrible thing to be a Dodger fan. An organization that has changed seats on the Titanic over and over and over. Until the bloated "All you can eaters" in the right field pavillion stay home and douse themselves with Farmer John, there will be what we have here.

Maybe Vinny is the leprachaun causing all of this nonsense. But its time for it to end.

Brooklyn meet LA. There is no difference.

28 Comments:

Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

What a hopeful season in Dodger town. We have a new manager, we have a player that is a winner on another team, and we have great prospects from our minor league team. Looks like it’s going to be another great season! Wait. . . what’s that. . . I’m reading the wrong script. . .

What a dismal season in Dodger town. We have a new manager, we have a player that is fat and a has been on another former winning team, and our prospects from Vegas is the only bright sign in this dark cloud that is Dodger baseball. So, come on out. Spend an afternoon with us. We’ll take your money and not give you a damn thing for it.

This message sponsored by Farmer John. East corn fed pork brought out to you live. Remember, as you watch the Dodgers lose once again, don’t forget to scarf down those Dodger Dogs at prices you cannot afford.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

What’s funny is that on the radio here, they don’t have enough time to give you a comprehensive sports report. They only give you who won which doesn’t tell who lost. Except for today’s report. They gave all of the winners and the announcer said, “. . . and the Dodgers lost.” Kind of sums it up.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Look at it this way. . . we always have the Lakers. Let's hope that by the time the playoffs are through, the Dodgers have somehow start to climb back in it before it's too late. Baseball is a long season. Anything can happen. Remember, only Jamies team went wire to wire. Which means it's impossible to do.

So until the season gets settled, let's keep our toes crossed and hope for the best and expect the worse.

P.S. If they blow it this year, I am going to kill someone.

11:24 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:24 PM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

It's quite early but if I were in Tony's foofie shoes I would be upset, too. Gotta love Forkush talking Dodgers with Brother Mike trying to be a voice of reason all the while losing his mind as well. IT'S EARLY but keep writing Dodger blue.

1:05 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Hey the Dodgers won. Let's keep positive.

7:50 AM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

I think "comment deleted" made the most salient point of all.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

If you must know, I posted a duplicate and then deleted it. I know I peaked your curiosity, but no biggie. Just an oops.

6:35 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Thank God for Furcal he is the only constant for the team. Let's keep this two game winning streak going. (Bark, bark, bark, bark) Sorry, I'm no homey, so I can't bark correctly.

Remember, the Lakers started off horribly and now they are the Western Conference Champs.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Dieta said...

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7:52 PM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

I don't know about you guys, but this Dieta knows what he/she is talkin about. Thas what I'm talking about!
Great loss tonight in Georgia. After the Braves literally gave the Dodgers three bases without an out and the Blue bumbled their way to not score I knew it was going to be a long long night in Hotlanta.
Then Chipper pulverizes Lowe and Park and the Dodgers roll over like the Tubbo that Jones is.
What a disaster!
But what else do you expect from a team that no matter who puts on the uniform, cannot gel.
As Jamie always said, no chemistry here in LALA. Only Tommy and his Tommy burgers could work.
We are a fourth place team my brothers.
Dodger Tony

11:20 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I guess the winning streak could not last. They need to get their shit together and fast. (Yes Jamie, I'm complaining about my Dodgers. You guys are lucky and have Dusty Baker. You better do right by him.)

12:41 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I could not read Dieta's blog. It was in Spanish!!!

12:42 AM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

Re: Dieta - Who knew a blog about Brazilian protein could be so compelling and sensuous. Welcome Dieta. I may not have your (baby) back but I definitely have your flank.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

And I thought they were only good at soccer. (Excuse me. . . futbol)

9:09 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Hey, the Dodgers won. They beat the Cinci. . . oh, sorry Jamie. Well, I'm sure this winning streak won't last long. How about that for political correctness?

7:38 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I guess I had to eat my words last night Jamie. The Reds showed us a thing or two. But, Lowe got the Dodgers back on the winning trail. (Notice my sarcasm?)

10:45 PM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

Dodgers hanging tough with the D-Backs who came into town the best team in baseball. It's hard to root against that you whiny little nevermind. Even getting a game off the D-Backs right now is unimaginable.

8:36 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I guess this didn't last long. I state this just for Jamies entertainment.

1:14 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Las Vegas 51's Russell Martin came through last night. Now Kemp tonight. I hope we can keep some kind of consistency here. It's a long season and seven games is a lot to make up unless you go on a hot streak. But, they never last, so I'd rather we just stay slow and steady and win like we have these past couple of days. Maybe we can gain some kind of character to the team like the Lakers did this season. Remember, they didn't start off too hot?

9:39 PM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

You whiny little Dodger fags have nothing to say when your team is doing well. I don't care how many games in a row the Dodgers win - your third baseman is Nomar Garciaparra. Actually, I believe the Dodgers are better than Arizona don't you think? Wait a minute--I'm...

7:25 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Whiny Dodger fans? I resemble that remark. Hey, I'm trying not to be too negative. The season is young, so anything can happen. I know we entertain you better when we complain, so let's see. . . Oh, yeah, Dodger Dogs cost too much. There. . . happy?

10:41 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Funny, now that the Dodgers are winning, I don't see any posts about it. Let's hope they can keep this winning streak going above seven games.

You know they will lose eventually, so let's see if they can keep the winning spirit and bring back the glory days of '88 when the Lakers and Dodgers won the same year.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

I guess all good things must come to an end. But, we just started another streak last night against the Mets. (We, like I am playing on the team).

8:04 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Yes, the Dodgers won again! Nine out of ten. An inside the park homerun the difference. Not as if Tony actually reads this. If they were losing he'd be all over this like flies on shit.

Now, let's keep this mo going.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

What the fuck was that? You call that pitching? Brad Penny is a useless, hillbilly piece of shit. TEN FUCKING EARNED RUNS AGAINST THE "B" METS SQUAD? ARE YOU FUCKING MY WIFE, OR WHAT WITH THAT SHIT?
The Dodgers are hot as a pistol and this egotistical cracker with the guts of a fuckhole decides to not pitch because, and I believe this is true, it was a day game after a night game and he had Russell Martin as opposed to Gary Bennett catching him and an infield of double A Ballplayers.
He is a piece of white trash and he knows it. We absolutely had no business not sweeping this pathetic bunch of Queens borough national league crap.
Penny is a fucking loser and its god damn time to trade his ass for something decent, like maybe another decent pitcher. He has been in the league for twelve fucking years and this is the shit he came up with today.
FUCK HIM!!!!!!!WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!

11:15 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

How come when the Dodgers where winning, I heard nothing. Now that Penny chokes it's every kind of cuss word in the book. That'll keep Jamie entertained for awhile.

Let's hope that the Dodgers and Lakers can repeat that magic in '88. It can happen. Crappy games like this will happen. Let's make sure that we get another 9 out of 10 streak going. Then we'll catch the Diamondbacks sorry mother fucking ass.

See, I can swear too.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

I am going to the game tonight, sitting behind home plate. Great seats and I think Derrick Lowe will be starting, which means we will be scratching for runs. Lance Berkman is hitting around .900 and we just came off our Brad Penny ass eating fest.
It doesn't look good. Watch for me on TV my friends.

"Did the Japanese sit down with Pearl Harbor when they bombed him?"
(Him! Fucking hilarious!)
Thank you Jerome. Bless Jim Healey

12:34 PM  

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