Thursday, March 19, 2009

What fools these mortals be.

If you have any doubts about what Co-dependency is, then you probably don't have it. If you continually find yourself in nightmare situations with people, people who you have no idea why you have anything to do with (present readers to this blog excluded), then you have some idea as to the severity of co-dependency. While it is helpful to identify perpetrators and "qualifiers", the most helpful thing of all is to recognize that it is YOU that is the problem, or rather "I". This is the first step in getting help.

Co-dependency is very tough to recognize because it is often hidden by behaviors that enable, enmesh and generally confuse one. But when you get some idea of the horrors of doing the same thing over and over again with people, whether in friendships or an intimate relationship, you realize just how insidious this dynamic is. Suddenly when you suggest to people your needs and they just laugh at you and continue to attempt to recycle the dynamic of your friendship, well you are in for a big surprise. Why isn't that person doing what I have requested they do? Why do they simply continue with their "agenda". Once again, it is most helpful to realize that it is YOU that is the one with the problem. And WHAT a problem it is. To actually face ones codependency can be one of the most difficult and horrifying tasks ever, because it requires a total examination of ones past and the original qualifier who began this entire cycle: the parent/s. To actually attempt to short circuit this cycle of addiction, and it is an addiction, means having to look at shit that you have buried for years and years. But as you get closer to the truth, the jig is up and you can no longer pretend that the same systems work anymore. There is enormous liberation in this, but not until you have gone through agonizing pain.

I attended my first Coda meeting tonight. It was extremely hopeful. Anyone locked in a terrible relationship with anyone can take to heart the fact that there is help out there. Google Codependents anonymous and there will be a list of meetings in your area. Don't let this deadly disease take you down. Have strength and be of good courage. There is help.


Blogger JamieB. said...

You should be writing all this down. It seems to me like you just need to be heard.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Manny Ramirez will be in the lineup again tonight for the Dodgers. This is their lineup:

Rafael Furcal SS
Orlando Hudson 2B
Manny Ramirez DH
Andre Ethier RF
Casey Blake 3B
James Loney 1B
Juan Pierre CF
Brad Ausmus C
Jason Repko LF
Clayton Kershaw LHP

What do you think?

4:59 PM  
Blogger Tony Forkush said...

Their pitching is suck suck so far.

12:29 AM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

The only week link it seems.

4:50 PM  
Blogger JamieB. said...

Where's Kemp, nigras?

5:31 PM  
Blogger Michael Pascoe said...

Good questions. Dodger Tony can you answer that for us?

5:48 PM  
Blogger laura said...

Well! Let's let a nigras answer the query. seems like all sorts of throw-back post cromagnium honkies seem to know so much about nigras this and nigras that. I don't want to appear racist or anything, but my mamma being a nigras would like to know what armenian region yo mamma wuz bon en.know what i'm a sayin.She'd be abouy ready to kick some nigras ass.Stop that noise Yo!
Maybe I'm alittle upset and sensitive because all I get to see are National games. Or a bunch of athletes from Philly or Dallas playing Basketball. I came to this site for some enlightenment. What I end up with is Dodger Blues about eastcoaster who now play on the west coast that are kicking ass in Cincinnati. Can I get a witness.JB like I, you are outclassed on this site.

12:03 PM  
Blogger laura said...

Hope this little white girl didn't scare any of you big mens.

1:38 PM  

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