small injury to testicle sack and pending cortizone injection in heel
Last night I sustained a mild yet bloody injury to my testicle chamber. It was during the final innings of the Dodgers tumultous win over the San Diego Padres. I was in my bathroom applying salves and lotions and arrived at the alcohol/wintergreen podiatric portion of the evening. While seated on the toilet seat I noticed a copious amount of blood on my hands, from whence I did not know. As I stood up I felt a stinging sensation in the sacral testicular fold and realized I had punctured the epidermas. The blood flowed freely and I was unable to staunch the injury. What had happened, I thought, cleaning blood up from the floor and toilet area. I surmised that during a particularly stressful moment of the game, I had captured the lower portion of the gonadal umbrella between the top lid of the toilet and the circular commode top. The pain and agony were instant. It took approximately thirty to forty minutes of alternating hot and cold compresses, paper towels with green alcohol and stuffing toilet paper down my jockeys, that finally the bleeding ceased. I became slightly dizzy, ominously concerned with the possiblity of an ER visit with mockery and censure from the aged nurses and young doctors. This was unthinkable. I am fine at the moment with only a mild twinge in the location.
On a more immediate note, in several hours I will have a cortizone injection into the heel of my left foot to counteract the symptoms of Planters Fasciatis, a severe inflammation of the ligaments in the foot, which has been ongoing for months now. I am frightened at a level of defecation. I have heard that these are rather painful procedures with ponderously massive syringes and that the medicine itself is incendiary upon puncture to the affected area. The pain then subsides rather immediately and a curative is sustained. I will report on this site tomorrow the results of this tortuous seemingly barbarous shot.
Pray for me. I will pray for me too.